Do you ever wonder about things like “Did I change? or is the entire world around me all of a sudden different?”.
Lately, a lot of things have been crossing my mind, and this post is an attempt, to maybe organize them a bit and tell you, what has been going on inside me in the last couple of months.
I think I used to be one of those people who were just living day by day, not worrying too much about the future. Studying, working, sometimes complaining about not enough time for hobbies, interests, family or friends. Of course I found myself wondering how days and weeks went by and sometimes it felt like either nothing had changed or everything changed.
While I’m usually only someone who shares private thoughts with their closest ones, I’m just trying to put into words what has happened or changed in the last few weeks. Back on a Sunday in May this year, my only worry was how to finish my “weekly review” post until the end of the day while I did not feel motivated at all. But within seconds I learnt, that suddenly your biggest worries can become meaningless. Until that evening, I think I never found myself in a situation so different as it was irreversible.
But I don’t want to be this post about that particular day or what happened. I’d rather want to focus on my thoughts that keep crossing my mind since then. Of course, I also kept thinking before:
“What is my plan in life? What do I really want to do?”.
And for sure, I still don’t have the answers with me. But this is a constant reminder to myself, to appreciate every single day and to keep looking forward. I guess we all read some motivational books and watched Youtube videos with motivational speeches? And yet, understanding is one. But acting is harder than just thinking and understanding. While I’m still thinking about what would be possible, this Sunday in May was a warning shot for me, not only dreaming but start putting things into practice.
So on the one hand, my resume was to finally start doing the things I want to do and not only talk about them. Of course, we all know that this might not be possible within days. It’ll take time to organize and plan but still – I want to keep focused and achieve those goals one day. And I hope that I can motivate you to do the same.
On the other hand, I also want to keep reminding myself and you that –
There is so much to be happy about.
If I would go back in time – maybe one year ago – I know that I’ve been one of those people who would just wake up and go unconsciously about their day. And of course I’m still having these unconscious moments nowadays. But something also has changed – for good. Today, I can sometimes hardly resist the urge of crying when listening to my favorite song or seeing my family having fun together. I know, it might sound corny or over the top, but I don’t want to apologize anymore for these kinds of reactions.
So even though this post might seem a bit dramatic or confusing, I hope that you enjoyed reading it. Please keep in mind that you rule your own mind and you can actually achieve a lot more than you think.
And maybe, if even one single person takes some motivation or any other kind of positive feelings out of this post, then it was worth sharing my messy thoughts. ♥